"I've these dreams I'm walking home, home when it used to be. And everything is as it was frozen in front of me. Here I stand 6 feet small romanticizing years ago... Well these daysI wish I was 6 again. Oh make me a red cape I wanna be Superman. Oh, if only my life was more like 1983 all these things would be more like they were at the start of me." - John Mayer "83"
On days like today where I am having a hard time dealing with things I try to think back to my childhood. I was always a happy kid and lived to have fun. The days before worry or panic, heartbreak or pain-- before you could ever imagine that the world you have always known could come crashing down. The biggest worries I had as a kid were deciding between Oreos and Nutterbutters as an afterschool snack or deciding what to do on my spring vacation. This is not to say that kids do not have hard lives- many of them do and it is heartbreaking, but I was fortunate enough to have a care-free childhood. I yearn for those days sometimes. Today especially. My parents are getting divorced and today (or perhaps tomorrow) will mark the official end. Although I have been preparing for this moment for the last four years, it (like most things) never really seems real until it is official. It is crazy to see how much can change during your life. It just goes to show how you never can know what the future holds. This is a scary thought, but also a good life lesson. I know everything will be okay, but it will never be the same again. I guess it will be a new chapter of life for all of us in my family. It is time to embrace this new phase and hope we all can find the same happiness we always used to feel.