The Good Old Days

"I've these dreams I'm walking home, home when it used to be. And everything is as it was frozen in front of me. Here I stand 6 feet small romanticizing years ago... Well these daysI wish I was 6 again. Oh make me a red cape I wanna be Superman. Oh, if only my life was more like 1983 all these things would be more like they were at the start of me." - John Mayer "83"

On days like today where I am having a hard time dealing with things I try to think back to my childhood. I was always a happy kid and lived to have fun. The days before worry or panic, heartbreak or pain-- before you could ever imagine that the world you have always known could come crashing down. The biggest worries I had as a kid were deciding between Oreos and Nutterbutters as an afterschool snack or deciding what to do on my spring vacation. This is not to say that kids do not have hard lives- many of them do and it is heartbreaking, but I was fortunate enough to have a care-free childhood. I yearn for those days sometimes. Today especially. My parents are getting divorced and today (or perhaps tomorrow) will mark the official end. Although I have been preparing for this moment for the last four years, it (like most things) never really seems real until it is official. It is crazy to see how much can change during your life. It just goes to show how you never can know what the future holds. This is a scary thought, but also a good life lesson. I know everything will be okay, but it will never be the same again. I guess it will be a new chapter of life for all of us in my family. It is time to embrace this new phase and hope we all can find the same happiness we always used to feel.

Today at work I...

Cut paper. No really, I did. Note to self: when your boss asks you if you would like to do a "mind numbing task," the appropriate answer should be no. Not that I'm not thrilled to know that the $160,000 plus that my parents shelled out to the University of Vermont was obviously well worth every penny. In reality, I think first grade tuition at Packer was probably a more solid investment. After all learning to share and read are much more valuable skills in the real world than learning how to play "slap the bag" and "stump." I bet if I added these skills to my resume I'd be a very sought after candidate for any job. Then again stump is a challenging (and quite dangerous) game so it might be worth considering.

It is a new year. I always love a new year - it is a fresh start. Time to let go of the negative aspects of the past year and only embrace the good memories and lessons learned. Because it is a new year I am allowed to make promises about things I will do in the new year. I never make resolutions because I always break them and then feel bad afterwards so instead I will make "promises" or at least attempts at them. I promise I will update this blog more - I only wrote 8 entries last year so all I need is one more than that this year and I will have accomplished something. Go me. I promise that I will always be true to myself and do what makes me happy. That is really all you can count on in life. People often let you down so you must learn to be independent and live life for yourself. Once you are happy with yourself you will be ready to share your life with someone else. I am confident with who I am and feel I am ready for that step. Hopefully 2011 will be a productive and happy year and I will get everything I want. Either way, I promise that I will stay positive. No matter how many times you fall off that horse, you always have to get back on.

Happy 2011 to all.

I'm off to apply to grad school. Maybe with an MA i'll be ready to move on to glue sticks. Yippe!